In the build up to World Mental Health Day 2025, we want to share some guidance from Young Minds on ‘Helping your child to talk’.

When your child is going through a tough time, you can’t always make things better straightaway. But you can make a huge difference by listening and being there. When your child can share what they’re going through and feel understood, their difficult feelings become a little easier to manage. Just knowing they can talk to you helps them feel less alone and more able to cope.

How to start the conversation

Pick a relaxed moment:

  • Over time, you might notice there’s a particular time of day or place that makes your child feel more comfortable talking. Set aside time for conversations during these moments.
  • If your child or young person is upset, anxious or angry, give them time to calm down. If they’re feeling distressed, they will not be able to think clearly and are more likely to shut down.
  • Take care of yourself too. If it’s been a tough day, give yourself time to reflect and calm down. Talking when you’re feeling exhausted, cross or overwhelmed makes it much harder to react well.

Do something together:

  • Most children and young people find it easier to talk while they’re on the move or doing an activity. Some also find it easier to think clearly if they have something to do with their hands.
    -Side-by-side talking is often easier than face-to-face. Not having to make eye contact can take the pressure off. It also makes pauses and silences more comfortable, encouraging them to stick with the conversation.
  • Pick an activity that doesn’t need too much concentration, so you can focus on chatting. You could:
    – drive somewhere together
    – go for a walk, especially if your child likes walking the dog
    – bake or cook together
    – doodle or colour-in
    – make something out of Lego

3. Gently check-in to get started:

  • Once you’ve settled into the activity together, ask some gentle questions.
  • Parents say it’s helpful to think of it like you’re throwing out a rope to see if it’s the right moment for your child to grab on. Sometimes they’ll be in the mood for talking, sometimes they won’t.
  • If they’re not in the mood, it’s not your fault. Don’t be put off, force them to talk or push for answers. Just focus on enjoying the activity together and give them some space. It’s normal for it to take time for them to open up. You can always try again another day. Further information and helplines/online chat can be found at YoungMinds.org.uk